Reflections · Uncategorized

Jealousy- The Green eyed monster

Gossiping about old school days my friend narrated this tale, about how this new girl joined, back when she was in high school, and how like all new girls, she was just perfect. Shiny hair, fair, the attitude…oh yes, and the perfect grades. She was filled with jealousy, curling in it until one day she deviously spun a nasty tale about her and had people talking about her behind her back. The new girl had a few bad days and then moved on and things came back to shiny for her. But our subject here is not the new girl, but the jealous driven behavior of the old.

Jealousy is poisonous, it burns a deep hole of void through us and fills it with fire, burning things along the way. The emotions of jealousy is a two edged sword, where you tell yourself a story that you created . You spin up a tale to justify your jealousy and it further emboldens the fire in the stomach. It pushes you to demonize the person and deepens your despair.

It is hardly discussed in the written world beyond a definition-you find little more on it to decode this basic human behavior. But if you turn to fiction-jealous rules. At the base of the dilemma is the crude, unabashed envy of a fictious character. Like Omkara, like Severus Snape in Harry Potter. It was Ashar’s jealousy that pushed him to hate Khirad in Humsafar and turn his character into such an enchanting charcoal grey.

Jealousy is an exhausting emotion, to understand how it works, know that you can only be jealous of someone you hold in a similar position as yourself, an established designer or a blogger will be a source of inspiration for me, but a young designer with my kind of background and talent if does better than me would turn me green. Jealousy evokes against the closest to us which makes this emotion very lethal and in some case a total relationship ruiner, where you fall in hate with who you are jealous of, and ditch them instead of treating it from the inside. A classic case is the famed sister rivalry.

But the truth of the matter is that each of us has a purpose in life and a set defined path, self love helps you get over anxiety and jealousy. Here’s my personal list of helping yourself when jealous:

Identify the emotion

The first step to helping yourself is admitting you are jealous. Keep denying it and there is surely a road to no return.

Why is it troubling you

The answer to this question helps you identify an underlying insecurity which has nothing to do with the person you are jealous of .

Connect on the inside

Connect to your feelings completely and don’t push them away, like a loving mother, talk yourself out of it. Pour in some love. Self love kicks out jealousy and anxiety.

Love the inadequateness of things

Sometimes it’s wonderful and different and painful and amazing to have things inadequately. Rejoice in the shortcomings , say Allhamdulilah and more will come.

List down all you have to be grateful for

Practicing gratitude and being thankful of how things turned out for you helps push the feeling down and out. Remember your strengths.

Let loose the reins of control, leave things to fate.

Yupp, do that at times. Drop the struggle, the competition, breathe and relax. The weightlessness is amazing.

A week into my second child’s birth, Bumble Bee says outraged, ” Mama, send him back to the hospital!” He’s so jealous, we all admitted. We laughed a bit and loved and kissed him. Jealously needs to be dealt with compassion, with acknowledging yet not ridiculing. We should treat it as a brief mental illness rather than a deep fault. So tomorrow if you feel like someone is not being happy for you, is feeling resentment, just hug them and realize that they are jealous, but it’s ok. Its ok to be jealous, but let’s not turn it into the poison of envy where we want to snatch it all away and keep it for ourselves. That my friend, is a flaw, the deadly sin.

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design · Details I love · Travel · Uncategorized

To Sydney, with love

We travelled to Australia for 12 days in late November, which was summers in Victoria, the air was the right amount of chilly for us and we loved the weather throughout. Both Melbourne and Sydney have a very unrpidictable weather and in our few days there we saw sunny, rainy, cloudy, cold and warm days,  I think is a tourists dream, to be able to see a city in all its various hues. We were in Sydney for three days and in Melbourne for about 6-7 days and added travel time. I will be covering this in series of three post, one for Sydney and two for Melbourne. We travelled by Emirates and had a layover at Changi Airport, Singapore which was such a gorgeous airport. Very travel friendly, eye candy of an airport with all facilities, lounges, massage chairs, coffee places and enough to look around for a two hour layover.

Australia is the home of two of my very favorite people, my best friend and my cousin, it has always been on the top of the newsfeed and in my daily conversations.  For me Sydney was always about the wonderful Opera House, till I visited it. We landed in Melbourne, relaxed for the night and took a flight from Avalon Airport to Sydney, the flight was Jetstar, comfortable and super affordable.

We were hosted by my hubby’s wonderful friend who had a lovely apartment in central Sydney and the sweetest wife. If you will be needing a hotel, check here, I always find good options there. Its better to be near the CBD but the beach and various beautiful destinations are about 25-40 kms away so it totally depends on what kind of trip you are looking at.

The metro card is a very effective way of travelling, it’s cheap and covers most destinations. Compared to Dubai, where I come from its very complex with a lot of lines running and intertwining. I suggest takeout some time and study the maps to have fun with the destinations. I really enjoyed the train rides in Sydney. It was a great way to see the city from a certain level.

We also used our friend’s car for two days to drive around. Renting a car is an easy option and it gives you the freedom to make your own route. Travelling with your own car is always a preferred mode of travel for me, it gives the right amount of liberty for planning travel with toddlers.

For our first day we went to the Circular Quay from the metro train, you can catch a train to Circular quay from the central station. It’s in the City circle and very close to the Sydney CBD. Sydney opera house is a 5-7 min walk from the circular quay.The CBD is a relatively small space within the greater Sydney Metropolitan region. It is also the main location for all major tourist attractions such as the Sydney Harbor Bridge, the Sydney Opera House, Circular Quay, the Rocks, the Royal Botanic Garden, Chinatown, Darling Harbor, Barangaroo and the Queen Victoria Building.

This place certainly was Sydney summarized for me, it was a harbor with ferry and all kinds of transport services. It was hustling with citizens and tourist, birds and eateries. The weather that day was to die for, it was a rainy day and we decided on boarding a ferry that would take us for a tour around the harbor.

We got off on Darling Harbor, which is the fifth station from circular quay. It has a boardwalk and great eateries. We had a wood fire pizza that was extremely delicious and after a quick tour, boarded the ferry for our trip back to check the Sydney Opera House.

And was it fantastic! It was. A master piece, I usually get goose bumps looking at such iconic buildings and the architecture, the feel inside the place, the material, the way the light played off its surfaces it was all too much to take in. Located with the water as a back drop, the enchanting blue Sydney sky and sea gulls, Sydney Opera house was to me like an enchanted castle. The space inside was the real deal for me, majestic fairface walls and brightly colored posters and how they played together to create the perfect contrast was an opera in itself.

The next day we embarked on our journey to the famed Blue Mountains and to view the three sisters. The drive up to the Blue Mountains is spectacular. Let me tell you again, Sydney is a very scenic city. The view is always breath taking. The Heritage Mountains gets their name from the blue haze that’s cast upon them due to the eucalypt forest. It’s located in Katoomba and is a two hour drive from Sydney Central. But since it was raining the day we visited it took us four, we were extra careful and were stopping a bit too much to enjoy the scenery. There are small towns that you come across on your drive, a food street an some villas, all very desirable stops.

There are many hikes available and picturesque places near and around the Blue Mountains. There are lovely restaurants located around the park and accommodation available if you plan to stay for more than a day. The Three sisters are beautiful mountain peaks and a very rare spectacle. Don’t forget to take a picture with them as the backdrop.

On our last day in the beautiful city, we met with our friends in Sydney for lunch, took a train above the harbor bridge because that’s something we really had to do. Me and hubby we love to drive by/ take a train/ walk over famous bridges. It’s just something we love to experience. The structure, the views, the feeling going over it really excites us.

The last thing we did was briefly visit the Bondi beach. Sydney is famous for its beaches and Bondi is clearly the first on the tourist list. It’s a 30 min ride from central Sydney and is worth the visit. With beautiful sand, curling waves and all sun, it’s the perfect beach experience. It also provides whale watching and all sorts of beach sports. For me, all I needed was a good beach mat and watching the world go by.

Halal food wasn’t an issue at all! Loads of Lebanese cafes are sprawled all over Sydney. Nandos and Burger King, which by the way goes by the name of Hungry Jack there is all Halal. YUM.

We didn’t shop at all in Sydney because frankly its pretty expensive and all the outlets there are already available here in Dubai. There are many malls, museums, zoos and historical places to visit in Sydney that we couldn’t because of lack of time and since I was expecting we really couldn’t over do.

That’s all folks, I cant wait to go back to Sydney it was such an enjoyable trip. Let me know what you think about this post. Have you been to Sydney? Where all did you go and did you fall in love with the city like me? Cant wait to start writing about Melbourne, Meanwhile you follow me here if you like this post, follow me on Insta and like my Facebook page @thearchieffect XOXO.

Details I love · Trends · Uncategorized

Nominated for the Liebster Award 2017!l

I’m so super excited to tell that I have been nominated for the Liebster award! I’m totally thrilled to be recognized and nominated in my second month of blogging. So grateful to all my readers and each and everyone who came across my blog to read a post, like it, comment on it, eternally grateful. Also, this makes my blogging journey so extra exciting and encourages me to keep going on. A big warm THANK YOU!

Some facts about the Liebster awards:

1. This award is given from bloggers to bloggers.

2. It helps new amazing blogs to be discovered and encouraged.

3. It helps bloggers be motivated and move on with their fantastic journey.

4. It helps the reader know the blogger a bit more personally.

What is the Liebster Award?

The Liebster Award 2017 is an award that exists only on the internet, and is given to bloggers by other bloggers.  The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011.  Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

My blog, The Archi Effect was nominated for the Liebster Award by . http://www.zamfuellos.com/ Of The Lost Deity. Her blog talks about her life, travel and food experiences. A big Thank you to her!

Liebster Award 2017 Rules:

• Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog.

• Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post, or by having it as the feature image.

• Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog and provide links.

• Provide 10 random facts about yourself.

• Answer the questions from your nominator.

• Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers.

• Ask your nominees questions of your own.

• List these rules in your post.

• Once you have written and published it, you then have to: Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award.  Then provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!)

Click here for a more detailed list of the rules.

My Favourite Blogs:

My favorite blog hands down would be Shehzeen Rehman of The Desi Wonder Woman. I absolutely love and adore her! A Pakistani- Dubai based blogger, helps me relate to her on so many levels. Through her posts she talks to the typical Pakistani woman, who’s independent, educated, loves the new age traveling yet is ingrained with culture and the ethos of being from the sub continent. She has a great style of writing that is informative and entertaining, tackling the trickiest topics in the most delicate yet humorous way and that I believe is the best thing about her blog.

Another special mention is Hiba Masood of Drama Mama, I love how her mind is filled with positivity and how she views little life’s obstacles as reasons to feel special and shine. She writes about being a mother and home schooling her very lovely kids. Her approach to education inspired many and pushed her to have a happy place in Karachi for kids and parents opting for her way of education through her learning camps.

10 Random Facts About Me:

-I’m an architect by profession and an interior designer by practice. Restaurants are my favorite sub category.

– I draw my strength from the precious women around me, my mom and my three sisters, they shape me.

– The only sound mind in my life is my husband, I value his analytical thinking above all.

– I have two boys, Mashallah, one naughtier than the other.

– I once participated in the all woman chess championship in Pakistan and won the third price.

– I love roaming on streets in foreign countries staring at the street architecture.

– Beef is my number 1 weakness.

– I draw my inspiration for my blog from everyday occurences and experiences.

– Cooking relaxes me and helps me with a bad mood. I’m my favorite cook.

– Swimming in deep oceans is the most exhilarating and liberating feeling for me.

– Wuthering Heights is my favorite book and I would love to go see the moors.

The questions I had to answer were:

1. Why do you blog: blogging for me is a journey towards being self aware and seeing myself as a person from a third person perspective. Also, I love to be read.

2. What is your blog all about?

My blog is about my life is a mother, a woman and most importantly as an architect. I see things from the lens of a designer and love to write about it in that way.

3. Favorite song and color as of the moment. Favorite song- Channa mereya from Aa dil hai mushkil and favorite color: it’s Purple, the shade pomp and power.

4. If you are given round-trip tickets for free, where do you wanna go and why? The Scottish Highlands. I would love that !

5. How do you imagine your proposal? If you are already engaged, how did it happen? I had an arranged marriage, and I believe it’s the best thing ever, cause sometimes you need to trust God to know what’s best for you !

My Liebster Award Nominees

Here is my list of my nominees:

1. Wonu Hilary Johnson of the www.lostndelirious.com

2. Marina Yves Wang of https://waitmarinawho.blogspot.ae/

3. Joel Jaws Andrada of joelandrada.com

4. Rudraksha Jaisingh of www.mycity4kids.com

5. Alvin Ganesh of https://m.facebook.com/TheSimpleTravels/

6. Shaista Mujeeb of https://cookifi.com/blog/

7. Serena Protic of https://www.facebook.com/worldsweethomeblog/

8. Michelle Graune of pinayadventures.com

9. Sian Louise O’Dell of Sianylou.co.uk

10. Hannah Chau of www.chausadventure.com

Congratulations! Please visit The Official Rules of Liebster Award 2017 to check for the guidelines.

My questions for my nominated bloggers are:

1. What does blogging mean to you?

2. How do you keep yourself motivated to blog?

3. What would your most favorite street in the whole world?

4. What one thing would you change in the past ten years of your life?

5. Name one person without whom you would not have been blogging.

Post your blog post link about The Liebster Award Nomination in the comments below so I can view your post and check out your blog.

design · Details I love · Interior design · Restaurant

Let’s finally Meat the Cheese

The opportunity to conceptualize and create is a very thrilling one. When provided with the project Meat the Cheese, fusion was the first word on my mind. Industrial and Minimal the two most important words in mordern Interiors were a bit over done but they still are the predominant style. Commercial interiors, especially for a restaurant or cafe I believe should evoke a reaction, good, bad or nasty, doesn’t matter, but you should definately not forget about it. Here is the final reveal! I hope you all have an opinion on it.

This design is a marriage of minimalism with movement . We pepped up an industrial charcoal grey ceiling with bright turquoise pipes and a lot of movement.

Of colonial with post modern. With light fixtures like modern day candelabras and a barrel as a significance of cheese storage, against a pure modernistic grey Fair face is a stark contrast and amalgamation of two eras of design.

Of grays and sharp colors. The restaurant is predominately playing on a grey undertone, but there are lots of popping in of color at unexpected places. Also we have kept in mind the color the food palate will bring into the living design.

Blank canvases and prints. I love bold prints. The inclusion of this printed upholstery and the green walls, break away from plain surfaces with minimal texture. I love the shadows the lights are casting, their own design on the walls. This was totally unexpected and delightful !

Of enjoying by oneself or sharing in a group. Nowadays dining out is not just a group activity. Sometimes the best moments are spent alone. For those solitude lovers like myself, this niche is a perfect spot.And above all the amazing food! Guys, let’s not forget the food. The meat is rumored to die for! It will surely make you go again and again and yet again.

Go check it out, this 21st of December. For all you Karachiites here’s the address:

32- C, Lane 7, Bukhari Commercial, Defence, Karachi.

Reflections · Uncategorized

What I learnt from a week long of being sick: PS, I love myself.

Last week has been a distinguished one for me, in such a fashion that I was sick mostly and so weak I dint even feel like doing social media, (that’s crazy weak, you would Say!). While Meghan was getting engaged to a prince and Kohli finally did chase, I was deep in the abyss of self misery and bad health. Add to the fact that Dubai is on it’s gorgeous best, being at home had added disadvantages.

As a human primarily and as a mother specifically our first responsibility should be towards ourselves, was the lesson I learnt. Our health or the lack of it can shake the foundations of our little empire in ways we can’t put together. Trying to achieve many things together, staying unsatisfied or over working takes toll on our health in ways we don’t know. It takes one real push for it all to come crumbling down. That’s exactly what happened to me this past week.

I was hit by the common flue and I was balled out. I realized I had been popping pain killers to subdue the body pain and an onset of fever to keep functioning. And then one day it stopped working, I was down with a high fever, chest pain and shivering. By next morning I couldn’t make sense of the world. Forgive my dramatics, but in my defense it really got a bit over whelming. My body had used up its reserves and I couldn’t force myself to eat or sleep. Medicines weren’t really helping and I dragged myself through five days of illness and finally got done with it. But it left me terribly weak and it took me five more days before I could bring myself to work around the house, read and write. In these days I made mental notes to make sure I don’t get hit so bad again, I’m sharing them here maybe they are useful to you as well.

1. Take care of my health before everything. I have realized a healthy body is the actual reason behind all happiness.

2. Cut down on unnecessary stress. Work hard but don’t take any mental stress.

3. It’s ok if something’s don’t get done. Also, don’t hammer yourself about it.

4. Sort your work load into necessary, important and luxury. And move in that order when taking care of the chores.

5. If you are feeling a bit weak and down, don’t drag. Take the time out voluntarily before it becomes a compulsion.

6. You can always cut down time from social media, it’s the number 1 cause of the problems of the women in this world, really.

7. Stay away from thoughts that disturb you. Single out thoughts that kick in anxiety, either address them or push them in the back of your head to solve out for later.

8. Eat well. Have vegetables and fruits and butter and ghee. Have ample, unlike common assumptions, it’s healthy and not thin that is beautiful.

9. Don’t shy away from things that make you happy. Indulge yourself, it’s so so so important.

10. Never miss a breakfast and take your water intake very seriously.

That’s all folks, enjoy winters and stay very healthy cause health is wealth, cliche but true.

If you have been reading this, please like and share the post @thearchieffect. Add to your tips of self love I can’t wait to hear more. Xo💗

Reflections · Uncategorized

My pint sized dictator, decoded.

There is a reason God made children so cute, it’s a defense mechanism to avoid strangling them when they cross your limits, totally works in my case. Teddy is going to enter his terrible twos but if truth be told his tantrums are pretty terrible when he wants them to be even now.

Sometimes I’m so grateful of having my babies, the absolute chance of creating someone better than myself, but nowadays I’m not so idealistic anymore. I’m literally losing sleep over his tons of naughtiness. Conversation wise he can repeat what you say but his eyes are a lot more verbal. He’s here to create a mark and he wants us to adjust to his personality sooner than later.

These are a few of this messages decoded:

  1. Mid of night screaming is a sport, don’t take it personally Maa, but If I want something 3 in the night I really want it. There is no way you can make me forget about it and sleep.
  2. If you want to trigger my exploration mode just tell me “ don’t touch that, teddy” that’s all. I will make sure I know how the item feels, the temperature, the texture . I might even accustom myself to the sound when it breaks .
  3. “Leave me” or “go out” are the perfect words to help me stick around, pull your hair and pound your Ipad. I might also droll on you to show some extra love.
  4. I enjoy it when you cook. The acrobats you do to protect me from the stove and the knives. I enjoy the whole mummy teddy activity. Let’s do it more often.
  5. That Aunty who offers me a roti and you always say he doesn’t have roti, there is a great kick in finishing that roti and asking for more. That embarrassed look on your face is my favorite.
  6. Of course I know how to slip out of baby chairs. Aren’t baby chairs a version of toddler slides?
  7. If you forget to hide your lipstick away don’t cry over some pretty paintings I carefully create with it.
  8. Don’t give an Oreo if you don’t want chocolate hands everywhere, if I have lemons I must squeeze them, no?
  9. If bhai wants something I want exactly that , if he doesn’t want it, I don’t want it too. *game rules*
  10. I have puppy eyes and I know when to use them, never doubt my intelligence.

Is your toddler saying something too? Let’s discuss. If you like this post, like and share us on Facebook @thearchieffect and follow me here !

design · Details I love · Interior design · Uncategorized

Our homely UAE day Decor 🇦🇪

It’s the 2nd nd of Dec tomorrow and we are celebrating in full swing! There is a long weekend of festivities and our plan includes brunches, dinners, long rides and some quick shopping. We have much to be thankful for in this beautiful country that we call our own, the UAE. To keep the spirit alive at home, I got together with my Bumble bee and created a corner to call our own little happy decorated place.

I totally believe in doing a little bit with kids to help them understand and nurture the love for the occasion, this will be much more effective then giving a long lecture on the importance of a particular day. Here’s our little decor, check it out !

#uaeNationalDay #2ndDecember #i❤️Dubai